ic contact

[supermarket]

❝ hi, it's kieren. sorry i'm not in right now. leave a message and i'll get back to you. ❞
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Comments

[wipedclean]

Hung out with a friend from home.

[Made out with him. Went further. But Bucky doesn't kiss and tell.]

How's... how are things with Simon? You talk?

[supermarket]

...Yeah.

It feels like a big mess, honestly.

[wipedclean]

[He's quiet for a moment. That really doesn't sound good.]

What happened?

[supermarket]

He asked me if I still wanted to be with him and I do. I said yes.

But it's just--

God, I'm such an idiot.

[wipedclean]

It's just what?

Tell me, Kieren.

[supermarket]

I didn't tell him that I still...had feelings for anyone else.

And I don't think I can.

So maybe it's best if I just...bury that bit.

[wipedclean]

[God, that hurts. He feels a little selfish for it, because hell he's got more than just Kieren here, so he should be able to just let it go, right? But Bucky likes Kieren, as much as he likes Sam or any of the others, and he doesn't want that to just be buried.

And hell, it's not selfish. They're allowed to like whoever they want. It's allowed.

Bucky sighs.]

I don't think that's a good idea, Kieren.

[supermarket]

I don't know what else I can do.

( he sounds miserable, because this isn't what he wants. it's just something he defaults to, this habit of internalizing everything he feels. )

[wipedclean]

[The way Kieren sounds hurts even more, because he just wants to wrap his arms around Kieren and hold him tight and kiss his forehead and his cheeks and every inch of skin he could reach.

But he can't.]

I don't know either, but burying it isn't right, it can't be.

[supermarket]

When he asked me, he looked...so relieved, like he was afraid I'd say no to getting back together. I feel like I'm just being selfish, feeling like this.

And now Johnny doesn't want to talk to me anymore, so when you called, I guess I was -- just really happy, for a second.

[wipedclean]

[He doesn't know Johnny that well, but that... doesn't really sound like him. Bucky's getting more concerned by the minute.]

What happened with Johnny?

[supermarket]

I told him about Simon, and he said he had to go, really quickly. And he hasn't spoken to me since.

[wipedclean]

Oh, sweetheart.

[It's all a mess. He's got no idea how it can be sorted out, though he desperately wishes he did.]

Kieren, you're not selfish to like more than one person. You deserve to be happy, and if more than one person makes you happy, you need to let Simon know.