ic contact

[supermarket]

❝ hi, it's kieren. sorry i'm not in right now. leave a message and i'll get back to you. ❞
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Comments

[supermarket]

yeah, but i'm not exactly a catch

being dead and all

[medals]

shut the fuck up

kieren have you seen us we are beautiful, mum and dad produced 2 solid 9's here.

[supermarket]

only 9's?

wow jem. don't you think you're underestimating us here

[medals]

i was going for modest

[supermarket]

well that's a first

ok besides, i'm not sure i want to go snogging some randos the first chance i get, y'know?

[medals]

yeah i'm kind of the same way? but i keep thinking
christ
my ex is gary kendal
i mean do i really want to be sitting twiddling my thumbs knowing he was the last bloke i snogged???

[supermarket]

no

definitely not

i know this is probably weird coming from me but

go snog some people, jem

[medals]

i've gone right off beards

[supermarket]

GOD

that's almost too much information

just, y'know. choose a nice guy

or girl

whatever you like

[medals]

what about both

[supermarket]

sure, if that works for you

just no beards and no dickheads. that's the only rule here

[medals]

why don't you conduct interviews while you're laying down the law here

[supermarket]

yeah, you know that's actually a great idea

tell them to bring me a CV while you're at it

and a 6 page essay about why they want to snog you

[medals]

dad would be so proud

[supermarket]

he might even buy me a brand hew pair of jeans

[medals]

pls love yourself

[supermarket]

i didn't say i'd wear them

well i might once

so i don't hurt his feelings

[medals]

this is the opposite of loving yourself

[supermarket]

help me

i'm weak

[medals]

there is no saving you

[supermarket]

i can't believe my own sister would give up on me like this

[medals]

wearing pity mum jeans ???? you're a lost cause

[supermarket]

i'm just nicer than you, that's all

[medals]

LMFAO

[supermarket]

💩