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❝ hi, it's kieren. sorry i'm not in right now. leave a message and i'll get back to you. ❞
[ ＴＥＸＴ｜ＡＵＤＩＯ｜ＶＩＤＥＯ｜ＩＣ－ＭＥＥＴＵＰＳ ]

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That's not daft at all. It's stressful.

( especially given what she's been through.

but he's proud of her for being so upfront about this. it probably isn't easy.

kieren wraps an arm around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. )

You're alright.

[she melts into his side and doesn't feel less on edge precisely, but she feels safe. it's miles from the terror she would have felt months ago, being in this situation with him and she's so, so glad she's not freaking out. she's missed this so much, the simple comfort he offers without doing much at all. she missed Kieren so much sometimes, in the past, that she couldn't bear it. weeks and months after the rising, missing his cuddles and his stupid banter.

she wraps her arms around his middle and just exhales, her eyes watery. ]

You alright though?

( he knows he made a mistake, leaving her behind. because hindsight is so much clearer than anything he could see in the moment, and most people who commit suicide don't get the chance to see the kind of devastation they leave behind. he hadn't even left a note. he'd picked such a remote spot, the cave where it had probably taken so long to find him.

leaving jem was a mistake that he hadn't quite known how to fix, back in roarton. there was a rift between them that could have been repaired with time, but that was easier said than done. in a lot of ways, eudio feels like a second chance. a do-over. being alive again, being human.

trying not to fuck it up so bad this time around.

and all kieren can do is press her head gently against his shoulder so she can rest there if she wants to, sifting soothing fingers through her hair.

it's more affectionate contact than they'd had in a long time, back home.

but things are different here, and he's grateful for it. )

Yeah. I mean...stuff's complicated right now. But we'll get it all sorted.

Yeah?

[with Simon, he must mean. with Kieren and Jem it's -- almost not completely awkward. it's easier, in Eudio. privately, she's been waffling about whether she wants to go home at all, when her contract is done. privately, she feels terrible about that.

she leans her head on his shoulder, shuts her eyes tight and breathes. ]

The marriage back on? Do I need to have a sisterly chat with the future Mr. Simon Walker?

( kieren doesn't know what he wants, either. it's hard, because after amy's death everything seemed like a kind of blur. the whole deal with the representative had gone over so quickly, because at that moment he would have said or done anything to get her back.

and he doesn't regret it, of course. but he wants to believe that maybe they can do something for all the pds sufferers back home. maybe there's something they can change so that people don't have to suffer the way they do now. he'd like to think that.

but maybe that's the soppy optimist in him talking. )

Depends on how many threats this sisterly chat is going to have.

( he rubs soothing circles in the small of her back, huffing a brief laugh. it's the walker way - substitute serious trauma for glibness and snark. )

Wouldn't want to scare him off.

[she's quiet at first. sheepishly so; he's joking, but, well. she absolutely threatened Simon before. not jokingly. oops. ]

I already threatened him, don't worry. Unless he can't remember the last time here.

You what?

( jem......... )

[w e a k l y:]

It was only a little one.

Only a little...threat?

( oh my god. )

What did you say?

[just. keeps her face in his chest tbh.]

Err.

[UHH]

If he ever thought about hurting you again, that no one would find his body. Harmless.

( for a moment, he's not sure what to say. and then kieren laughs, because he doesn't know what else he ought to do, and because it's actually incredibly sweet.

kieren doesn't know that there is a point in his future where jem will look him in the eye and say that she chose him over gary. but what he does know is that this is what they do now, looking out for each other. it's something to be grateful for.

he'd probably threaten someone for jem, too. )

...Thanks for that.

[she pulls away slowly to look at him, not sheepish or embarrassed, but utterly serious. ]

If he pulls anything like that again, I'm serious.

[there's no one in Eudio who would find his body. and then, she softens, cracking a weak smile. ]

If anyone pulls anything, I'll also beat them up. It'll cost you two packets of jammy dodgers.

Thought we talked about your biscuit habit already.

( it's funny because they're supposedly wisecracking, but he knows she really means it.

which probably shouldn't be comforting.

but it is, kinda. )

You talked about it; I gleefully ignored everything you said.

[because that is what sisters do, obviously. ]

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UGH THAT ICON

EVERYTHING HURTS

NO SHHH IT'S ALL OK

IS IT THO

YES.....

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